Ok, this is so good I just had to post. Last year on March 14th, his fathers birthday I might add, I woke up a widow. I obviously was not interested in doing my normal reading in Streams In the Desert - a daily devotional. This year I was busy all day that day. But yesterday I decided to read what the devotional was for that particular day. Amazing. Here you go.
Moses approached the thick darkness where God was. Exodus 20:21
God still has His secrets - hidden from "the wise and learned". Luke 10:21 Do not fear these unknown things, but be content to accept the things you cannot understand and to wait patiently. In due time He will reveal the treasures of the unknown to you - the riches of the glory of the mystery. Recognize that the mystery is simply the veil covering God's face. "Do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though some strange thing were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the suffering of Christ" 1 Peter 4:12-13. When you feel the most forsaken and lonely, God is near. He is in the darkest cloud. Forge ahead into the darkness without flinching, knowing that under the shelter of the cloud, God is waiting for you.
A man once stood on a high peak of the Rocky Mountains watching a raging storm below. As he watched, an eagle came up through the clouds and soared away towards the sun. The water on it's wings glistened in the sunlight like diamonds. If not for the storm, the eagle might have remained in the valley. In the same way, the sorrows of life cause us to rise towards God.
(M.e.) Every day we have a choice. We can choose to look to God or look at our circumstances. I can attest to the fact that looking at our circumstances only breeds despair. This life is hard. At times it just plain sucks and much of it is not fair. Or perhaps it is not fair because we can't see past our present concerns. Every day we have a choice. Today I choose life. I choose faith. I choose to believe that God will guide me by a cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night. I choose to believe that God could take all the heartache from that day and the many months preceding it and use it to drive me to Him.
Choose wisely today. Just for today.
Friday, March 23, 2012
Wednesday, March 21, 2012
Am I ever gonna let go?
I am sure by now you are tired of hearing about my need to control. I'm tired of it but obviously not tired enough of it to just give it up! Nope, with white knuckled determination I struggle for security. I struggle for the predictable. For safe. Is this a lesson I will ever learn or will this struggle continue to the end? I hope I learn it but I think part of the issue for us all is that God wants our whole hearts so He continues to allow situations where we MUST trust Him. Truthfully, I make myself miserable with worry. I have a friend who really doesn't worry and I just don't understand that. To not worry is so off my radar that I can't even imagine what that would look like. What would I do with myself if I had no time for worry? ; ) What would I worry about if I did not worry? If I don't worry about all this minuscule stuff then who will? See, I am needed! Of course I am being facetious but it is something I think a lot about.
In December I went to the movies with an old friend of Tom's and mine. A guy friend. The guy friend I alluded to in a previous post. We continued to "non=date", as we called it, for the past few months. I went on those earlier "non-dates" because He felt safe. I had a whole list of reasons why I was not ready to "Date" and of why this guy was safe because I would never marry anyone "like him", whatever that meant. Hmmm, I believe I said that once before when Tom Householder asked me to go for coffee. Coffee was not a real date and he was kind of different so I would never be romantically interested yet I ended up marrying him and being married to him for 30 years. Can you see where this is going?
Steve, that's his name, and I dated for a while before I met Tom but we were both headed in different directions in life so we just sort of drifted apart but remained friends. Because we have maintained a friendship he has been in and out of our lives and my family's lives for the past 33 years. He asked me to the movies because he thought I would be a wreck and might need an outing. He saw it as doing me a favor. Too funny. I went because he was a nice guy who felt very safe but it was very weird to be seen in public with another man no matter what the circumstance. We have continued to "non-date" and now we are dating. I know, we called it non-dating but at some point it crossed over into dating I just would not admit it. Maybe God knew this was the only scenario that would feel safe enough for me to venture out there.
All of that to say, my security issues are bubbling to the surface again. I was just beginning to feel secure as a single person but apparently God wants to keep me on my toes. He promised me my future would be better than I could imagine yet I struggle to let Him write the story. So far what He is writing is an amazing and beautiful story that only God could write, but I continue to want answers and control. It is a daily struggle to let it go and rest in this moment and enjoy this page of the book.
I know this much is true. God is good. He only does good things and He delights in cleaning up life's catastrophe's. He will take what the enemy meant for my harm and turn it into something good and He can be trusted. Maybe I should get a tattoo somewhere where I must look at it several times a day as a reminder that:
He can be trusted.
In December I went to the movies with an old friend of Tom's and mine. A guy friend. The guy friend I alluded to in a previous post. We continued to "non=date", as we called it, for the past few months. I went on those earlier "non-dates" because He felt safe. I had a whole list of reasons why I was not ready to "Date" and of why this guy was safe because I would never marry anyone "like him", whatever that meant. Hmmm, I believe I said that once before when Tom Householder asked me to go for coffee. Coffee was not a real date and he was kind of different so I would never be romantically interested yet I ended up marrying him and being married to him for 30 years. Can you see where this is going?
Steve, that's his name, and I dated for a while before I met Tom but we were both headed in different directions in life so we just sort of drifted apart but remained friends. Because we have maintained a friendship he has been in and out of our lives and my family's lives for the past 33 years. He asked me to the movies because he thought I would be a wreck and might need an outing. He saw it as doing me a favor. Too funny. I went because he was a nice guy who felt very safe but it was very weird to be seen in public with another man no matter what the circumstance. We have continued to "non-date" and now we are dating. I know, we called it non-dating but at some point it crossed over into dating I just would not admit it. Maybe God knew this was the only scenario that would feel safe enough for me to venture out there.
All of that to say, my security issues are bubbling to the surface again. I was just beginning to feel secure as a single person but apparently God wants to keep me on my toes. He promised me my future would be better than I could imagine yet I struggle to let Him write the story. So far what He is writing is an amazing and beautiful story that only God could write, but I continue to want answers and control. It is a daily struggle to let it go and rest in this moment and enjoy this page of the book.
I know this much is true. God is good. He only does good things and He delights in cleaning up life's catastrophe's. He will take what the enemy meant for my harm and turn it into something good and He can be trusted. Maybe I should get a tattoo somewhere where I must look at it several times a day as a reminder that:
He can be trusted.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)