Which fork in the road

Some days it is so easy to trust God.  Today is not one of those days.  In 2 days our health insurance runs out and I do not have a backup plan.  Providence was helping pay the premiums while Tom is in treatment but that stopped when he died and it will run the end of June. Another common assumption is that widows get social security benefits.  Not so unless you are retirement age or you have children under the age of 16.  In fact, because Tom only lived 1/2 of March I had to send all of March's check back.  And, if I should remarry I will not be able to collect Tom's social security, I can only collect mine which is a pittance since I was a stay at home mom most of my life.  It's not like his next wife is going to collect his benefits.  I'm pretty sure there won't be a next wife.  It is so overwhelming and frustrating having to deal with all of this on top of trying to figure out what to do next.  Tom had life insurance so I am ok for the immediate but I am terrified to spend any of it because our income dropped almost $4000 a month over a 1 year period of time.  I truly love quilting but I am not sure it is enough and there is no retirement or health insurance.  I just want to be told what to do.  It feels naive to think it will just come to me when the time is right.  What if it doesn't?  What if I really can't figure this out on my own.  What is it supposed to look like?  In a three month period of time I lost my husband, most of our income and all of the kids moved out.  That would be huge even with a partner but without one it feels just plain overwhelming and the sucky part is, I did not choose this.  I did not decide to get a divorce.  I feel left with no real purpose or direction in life.  It is not like my focus needs to be to raise my kids.  They are pretty much raised and venturing out on their own.  I know God says that we will know the way to walk but I am looking down each fork in the road and have absolutely no idea which fork to take.