All is Grace

In my last blog I talked about the difficulties of parenting adults alone and how much harder it seems without Tom.  Many of my posts have been about how hard this all is.  That has been my new reality however I wanted to post another insight.
I have had great difficulty motivating my boys to actually help me out.  They never initiate doing anything unless I light a fire under them or unless it will somehow benefit them in some way.  And yes, never is not an exaggeration.  My sister and I have talked at length about this and she has come over and in her very gentle way tried to roust them up to help to no avail.  They will help for a few minutes but seem to spend more time "putting something away" or getting a drink or going to the bathroom then is necessary therefore avoiding the work.  But on Sunday Steve showed up at the crack of noon, which the boys all swore was the crack of dawn, and made them help him clean our garage.   So, I am not really alone in this parenting after all.  Steve was my reinforcement and they actually worked for him. Not as hard as either of us would have liked but they weren't about to complain to him. I can now park both cars in the garage and walk around each car.  Heaven!  It did more for my heart than a clean garage could ever do.  As I have stated before, parenting adults is it's own sort of unique.  I much prefer the days of dealing with lying or a smart mouth or sibling fighting.  Adult problems are much harder to deal with and I am constantly trying to figure out what is a kid who is hurting because his dad died and a kid who just wants to do his own thing.  Not easy.
   But I have reinforcements.  Steve met with Jordan this week to work on an exit strategy.  How does he get his ducks in a row so he can be able to afford living on his own?  They are coming up with a plan and for now I can be the mom and not the landlord.  One thing you may not know about Steve is that his dad died when he was about the same age as Jesse so he totally gets where they are.
    I honestly do not know what I would have done without Steve and Sara these last 2 years.  Steve took care of everything financial the entire Tom was sick so I could focus on Tom.  Sara pretty much gave up her life for those 15 months to help.  She became Tom's second wife.  He sooo loved her and I was so grateful that I had someone I could leave him with that he felt safe and comfortable with.  Part of brain cancer is that they can not remember things and he would get very anxious if I was not around because he felt like he then needed to remember but he did not feel that way with either Sara or Tom's sister Susan.  He knew he was safe and they knew what to do.
    One of the challenges with having an anxiety disorder (me) is that we tend to catastrophize.  We take things to their most catastrophic conclusion.  The sky is falling, the sky is falling!  But God continues to show me that He has our back.  He has a plan and he has taken care of the details.  It is very reassuring.
    So, to those of you have been God with skin on in my life, a million thank you's.  You help me keep getting out of bed each day.  You help me feel like together we will get these boys raised and I will do the best I can with your help.  I see God in your gestures no matter how small.
     There is goodness in this dry and weary land.  All is grace!